Conversations and Confessions

Hey guys,

so I've written this blog a couple times, I don't want this to turn into a vent blog so I haven't posted anything for the sake of having nothing good to say haha but I am feeling much better this week and I have a much positive attitude so I'm going to start this segment of my blog off with some funny text convos between Kelly (my trainer) and I, because my phone conveniently auto saves all of these things and I was lookin back and it was funny to me... =) enjoy

Me: I want french fries... just sayin
Kelly: I know... eat more protein, or chew gum

Me: Don't worry about calling me back I just wanted permission to have a cigarette... but I shoved carrots down my throat instead.

Me: the shakes are ok
Kelly: Good
Me: Can I add some chocolate ice cream?
Kelly: You are kidding right???
Me: umm ... yeah

Me: Kelly that was an hour of exercise from hell... you must hate me....

(after discussing meal plan changes)
Me: We could always lower the amount of veggies I have instead of lowering the amount of crackers... just throwin that out there..
Kelly: LOL... lol
Kelly: ..............no

Me: My body will prolly eventually thank you but right now it HATES you... just sayin =)
Kelly:Your arms are getting thinner!!!
Me: I should've known you'd say that but... right now.... ITS HARD TO WALK! lol

Kelly: Lose weight?
Me: 5
Kelly: What!!!??? yay!!! why the crap didn't you tell me sooner?? I'm dying over here!

Me: Kelly I busted my @ss this week.. I am beat and sore
Kelly: yesss! thats what I want to hear!
Me: thanks you always like it when I am am hurting for some reason!

Me: Kelly really?... I have one good week and your gunna take away everything good and enjoyable?
Kelly: You don't need bread! Its crunch time!

Me: would boxed potatoes be a possibility for me have like ever? no fat.. I looked.. Tatoes are like my fav food group!
Kelly: (she basically said no here, with lots of healthy knowledge to back her up followed by asking me if I ever tried sweet potatoes..)
Me: no ... Tatos are in the food pyramid you know

Me: Can I have orange Juice?
Me: I hear its an excellent source of calcium
Kelly: no... only fruit is your apple now

and finally...........

Kelly: How many work outs? none?
Me: crazy bad week... I did a couple of days of just running
Kelly: What was crazy? are you pregnant?
Me: ha noo

with all that said I'm at the 8 week mark and I lost.... 33! woot

On my week 13, which is my week off before I start the next "12 weeks of hellth", for half the week I am going to Maryland woot! woot! My friend Vanessa and I are going to do some top secret celebrating! I am so pumped! and David (Vanessa's little boy) and I are going to play candyland and Arielle (Vanessa's lil girl, age 2) and I will prolly play lots of games of fall asleep and then 2 seconds later yell "goodmorning" haha so cute! I love them so much!

Yankees are winning yeah!!!! I think its funny how offended I get when someone makes fun of the yankees and says stuff like I don't like them because they win all the time .... (which yes they are typically good, but they don't win all the time, they haven't won in like 6 years)

hmmm ... so basically you hate them because they are actually good

yeah I'm like that with successful musical artists, if they are famous and make a lot of money I don't like them ... I only like the bands that don't get anywhere because they SUCK! (if you don't know me well enough to know already, I am being sarcastic)

oh and then I love it when they want the phillies to win for that same reason because the yankees win all the time. THE FRIGGIN PHILLIES WON LAST YEAR!!!! ... idiots

ok im done off my soap box

NOTE... IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE YANKEES BECAUSE YOU ARE LOYAL TO ANOTHER TEAM, FOR EXAMPLE, METS FANS WHO HAVE BEEN METS FANS FOR YEARS IM NOT SPEAKING TO YOU... I AM SPEAKING TO THOSE WHO HATE THE YANKEES SPECIFICALLY FOR THE "THEY WIN ALL THE TIME" REASON... I HAVE BEEN A YANKEE FAN ALL OF MY LIFE, AND THAT'S WHY I LIKE THEM!... what I am really saying is.... don't be offended jenny that wasn't written to you...

confessions:

it was a bad week ....

- I snuck into the bathroom to eat a mini butterfinger candybar

-I had a qeusadila(sp?) with lots of cheeeeeese

however i went to a party with a table full of pop, chicken wing dip and 5 pizzas... I left 10 minutes in, driving home with tears in my eyes and yelling curse words but ... I didn't eat any of it.. hahaha =)

I cant wait til thanksgiving!~

Well lots of exciting things going on, the world series obviously, I had a job interview today, I am 3 weeks away from a week of food freedom, I am playing djembe and singing at church and absolutely love it... ahh and its a NEW week! peace!

learning with new shoes

Dear Blog Readers,
Results: I lost 25 pounds! =) in 5 weeks!

I've learned a few things this week, which means I'm going to take this blog on a more serious swing this time around... not that I don't learn new things every week, but this time I want to write it out.
1. God gives encouragement and affirmation. So if you are getting encouragement just when you feel like you really need it, that is from God, yeah He works through people! So I've been praising God for the people in my life that He works through and uses to give me encouragement and affirmation just when I need it. So if you are one of those, and you probably know it, than Thanks for being used by God in my life! =)
2. Sometimes in my life people have asked me how I am doing spiritually and a lot of times my response was "Well, I am waiting for God to show me what He has for me next in life" whether if it was what my major was suppose to be, and now what job I'm suppose to have.. BUT... I've realized that even though I long for purpose and I look for purpose in the bigger life decisions... There is NO waiting on God for purpose yeah maybe for big life decisions you may be praying and asking for guidance and waiting for response but God has purpose for everyone each day each hour even if we are waiting for guidance for a decision, I've never stopped to ask the question "why am I waiting" well there is probably something I am suppose to do now while I'm waiting before I get wrapped up in the "big answer to pray"
ANYWAYS

I think little by little God is showing me little things that I didn't pay attention to before... Next on the list ...tithe

I went to Indiana this weekend for my friend Jamie and Matt's wedding it was awesome they had a pretty unique wedding that fit them beautifully!
I had fun while I was there, went to a soccer game, pulled some pranks, went shopping, went bowling.. you know the important things.



I bought new shoes.. I needed the new sneakers for working out, I was starting to get foot cramps, and then I got flats for the wedding because I didn't come prepared.. anyway here they are in the picture.




haha yeah I like brown I guess, but the shoes were only 20 dollars and the sneakers were only 40... pretty good deals for pretty quality shoe wear =) i love new shoes!
These next pictures are just a few pics from my visit, the first pic is Lori, and I at the wedding, Lori is awesome, she is the inspiration of this Blog, and then that's me holding her lil baby Lily... so cute!




And then these next pics are my peeps haha, my little roomie and her roommates now, and then my wonderful Holly, and Alli who has a great attitude about silly string all over her stuff... ha




Anyways I am doing a new workouts this week, that is a bit like torture, I couldn't walk or go up and down stairs when I was finished... when I got the list of exercises I cried for 2 hours haha i know I'm a wimp ... but if you think about it i was just stressed about it and since I can't do anything else when I'm stressed ... I just cry... I got through them tho, which is good, at work I was sliding on my butt to go down the stairs and every time I dropped something I made my friend Megan bend down and get it, because that is what is MOST painful. But i think the muscles have healed after a couple days rest and I am excited about the workouts this weeks.. I CAN DO IT!

Creamy chocolate? Really?

I know I know its been 2 weeks? I don't even know, but now its October and I'm working on week 4 of my health program. I have lost 15 pounds so far and that's not counting the 2 pounds I lost since Monday. Kelly, my drill Sergeant (kind trainer) doesn't like when I weigh myself more than just once a week, so that's why I didn't just come out and say cough 17 lbs cough... haha opps. Anyway, the program has gotten easier and harder. Carrots still take me an hour to eat, and I'm still really full BUT this week I switched to protein shakes for my first and last meal. which means that the only meal I have to suffer through is the one with the carrots, and these shakes are OK, I mean they aren't like Doug's shakes where there is 8oz of ice cream, along with chocolate syrup, malt, and milk, but the label does say creamy chocolate so that is a plus! HOWEVER, don't be fooled, I can't believe how deceiving a "chocolaty" shake could be... OK these things look like milk chocolaty creamy delicious shake, and by golly (that's for you Vanessa) they even smell like chocolate goodness, and when I first went to try it I was convinced it would taste like chocolate ice cream in the liquid form..... ITS NOT TRUE! ... they aren't something I would take over a real chocolate shake or even a glass of chocolate milk or even a chocolate chip cookie BUT it is quick, easy and it doesn't taste half bad. I just don't want you to get the idea that now all the sudden its easy cuz I am having chocolate shakes everyday... mm no.

But workouts have gotten harder, you should see me in my basement blasting my music, watching my picture slide show on my computer, sweating profusely and yelling at myself to finish... its quite humorous.

-----yes I do realize I divide a lot of my thoughts by ....... a bunch of periods in a row, that's just how I talk so get use to it---------

accomplishments

1. 15lbs wink wink in 3 weeks

2. Alcohol free for 4 weeks

3. smoke free for 1 1/2 weeks

4. Bad but yummy free haha for 3 1/2 weeks

5. Mom free for 4 weeks ..hahahahahahah I just thought of that

6. revamped my resume

7. Started labor for your neighbor.. and is so far pretty successful

8. Putting together a package for the Poverty simulation

so I'd say I'm doing pretty well, sure I have my days, we all do, but things are looking up and with a mug of dunkin donuts coffee in my hand.. everything is just that much better.

So I have been having these weird dreams lately.. probably because I am reading this book where this guys has dreams and can't tell which is reality and which is a dream but ultimately they both are realities (Circle Trilogy- Ted dekker) ... but in this book, and I'm not making this up the portal from one reality and to another is when he falls asleep in one he wakes up in the other.. anyway so that's how my dreams are ... for some reason I will have a nightmare or even a dream I don't really like and in my dream I will find someplace to go to sleep because I know that if I go to sleep I will wake up .. like really wake up in real life and it also works in a good way if I really like my dream, I try to avoid going to sleep in my dream because I know I'll wake up... and then I have these really bad nightmares where no the dream itself isn't bad but every time I try to go to sleep in my dream to wake up, I just wake up in the same dream and then It like torture because I can't wake myself up from my dream in my dream... If you didn't understand this paragraph just forget about it, it really doesn't matter, and I would understand.

I think I figured out why Hank is mentally ill, I mean he is a 7 year old dog which makes him about 49 in human age, and if you know anything about English mastiffs you would know that they shake their head a lot to get the slobber off their mouth... ya know to decorate our walls couches and clothing with it, anyway I think 7 years of shaking that massive head with his big floppy years has really affected his brain functions.. He has got to have lost a few million brain cells ... poor old guy... or maybe when I opened my car door and didn't calculate distance very well and whacked him in the face has something to do with it ...

Yeah distance calculations are not my forte one time I was backing out of my driveway to my house at school and didn't compensate for my side mirrors, and took the whole mirror out with a tree... maybe I should work on that

anyway 2 and a half more weeks and I will be halfway there!!! I'll drink to that! ... I know I know ... shakes and water...